ok.

so sometimes you have to realize that you might not turn out to be a world-changing revolutionary.

or someone who can speak ten languages, or who discovers how to access the fourth dimension, or something.

or maybe you can't even do half of the things in life that you dream of doing.

which can be kind of disheartening if you are that person, the one that wishes you were a revolutionary.

i think i might be coming upon a new direction in my life. i mean, my direction is always for my king, but i mean something seems to be brewing lately about what i will be doing or how i will be doing "it".

(on a side note, i am learning how to knit 3-D objects. FINALLY. and i did a drawing that i put in an open show that is going to be in soho in two weeks at artists space gallery. anyone can be in the show, and i am one of those anyones. i think more galleries should be that way. no more of this "you can and you can't" stuff, right? we might need some of that, but because of the lack thereof this time i'm included!)

maybe i won't be a revolutionary (which i might dream of for a LONG time to come), but i pray i am who i was made to be. i pray i don't get caught up in this world's hoopla too much, and that i keep my eyes on what is important and real, and act with integrity and purpose. even if that means i cannot be the one who learns how to travel in the fourth dimension, i'll be who i am supposed to be, right? and i have to remember that that's better anyways.

thankful.

here are some pictures from brian's show, jimmy, random chinese man in the park in chinatown, and the kids are our friends ruth and blake's twins isaiah and leorah...

i am thankful. for my husband and our gift of a companionship and marriage. for our friends and family and little new jersey apartment. for my breath and life and gifts and dreams and failures (though those are sometimes the hardest to see the silver lining in, right?...)

millions live on less than a dollar a day. and millions more on only $2. women and girls all over the world have no opportunity of education, and here i am with an education, and on top of that a job and health and love and life...and i am remembering to be thankful, which i want to remember with more intimacy, depth and frequency.

on another note, i asked my kids today to name the things they are most thankful for. here's what they said:

leila - "my family", samantha -" my teacher, family and house", willem- "pumpkin pie", sophia - "room and bed", matthew-"closing my eyes at night-time", alex -'knights with swords and superman", brayden- "chicken nuggets and bunk beds". priceless.

changed the name of my blog. i am thinking about beyond the "now" but not in the same ways i have in the past. i am pretty fully in the "here" in most senses. i am certainly physically "here" and mentally more "here" than anywhere else. i am one of those people that is usually not "here". i usually struggle to be in the moment. that is one thing that is currently being changed in me (yay, finally...!). i mean, as much as something can be changed in the last year, which i think is a lot, but maybe i am young and naive....probably, right?

but instead of most always being beyond "now", i am here and now, maybe later, too.

birthday fun and halloween.

The first two pictures are from my preschool's halloween party.

The last three are from a bike ride in princeton brian planned for my bday. :)